Milestones that Really Matter

Object permanence? Bah! Holding the head up? Whatever.

1. You make a trip to Goodwill, and bring one or more of the following:

• Changing station
• High chair
• Stepstools
• Carseat
• Bib
• Diaper bag
• Pack’n'Play
• Stroller
• Baby gates
• Doorknob covers
• Cabinet locks

The white one is to the bedroom. The wooden one's just in case.

2. Any one of these things can be placed within two feet of the floor or chair, and left there:
   • Toilet paper
   • Trash can
   • Glass of liquid
   • Electrical plug
   • Nightlight
   • Coins
   • Mobile device
   • Remote control
   • Shampoo
   • Anything with knobs
   • Anything that fits in a film canister

Trash can: high. Stepstool: low. Not pictured: Shampoo, on windowsill.

3. You hear one of these phrases, and know it to be true:
   • “I can wipe myself.”
   • “I can use the remote control.”
   • “I don’t need a lid.”
   • “I can buckle myself in.”
   • “I can use a fork.”
   • “I can dress myself.”
   • “I can read.”

Someday, this will not seem like the greatest bathroom ever designed.

4. You can say one of these phrases with some confidence:
   • “Take a bath.”
   • “Go to bed.”
   • “Brush your teeth.”
   • “Clean up your room.”
   • “Go outside and play.”
   • “Watch your sister.”
   • “I’ll wait here.”
   • “Get it yourself.”

Don’t go telling me about how each age has a trade-off, and some of these things can never be said with real confidence. And how, once they can say “I can read,” they’ll likely stop saying things like, “I love you, Mommy. You’re my best friend.”

A girl can dream.